Defeat is Only Momentary- If You
Let it Be
Eric
Campos
Life. It’s an interesting journey, a
windy, rocky road. The Sioux describe life as the red road, they hold that our role as individuals is to seek out and
carve our own path. It’s not always easy though. We all know this because
everyone, everyone, has known struggle. We’ve all encountered stones, pitfalls,
and gorges along our paths. You know what I’m talking about: rotten luck, hard
times. Doubts.
Well, there are certain things and
there are more certain things- but at the same time life, the world, also has
room for mystery. What is for certain
is that there WILL be times that beat the ever-loving shit out of us. There
WILL be trials in life that threaten to break us at our core. There WILL be
moments when you feel so beaten down you wonder: how can I stand? There WILL be
people in life that hurt you. The certainties of life are that everyone/ everything
WILL die, and before that, there WILL be mountains to climb. Might even feel
like a sea of fire complete with devils cackling at us with bony pointing
fingers. Struggle, that’s for certain. Some carry a share more than others, but
we all have them. It’s a life guarantee.
Here’s another guarantee: life’s
turns aren’t written in stone. We have
the ability to shape our own path through opportunities that cross us, and our
own choices. Sometimes we’re dealt a tough hand, a string of tough hands, but
all you can do is keep on playing. That doesn’t mean you can’t turn it around, it
means you have to make the best of what you’ve been dealt, adapt. Defeat is
only momentary- if you let it be. Rough patches tend to come in a stretch,
stacking one after another until they all come crashing down. Think about it,
when ‘shit hits the fan’ it usually falls in waves. The test of character, and will, is your
ability to acknowledge these adverse circumstances and carry on. I’ve always
believed that the mark of a great individual is the grace and integrity they
model while facing hard times. Think of the people, the icons, we all admire.
Let’s be honest, we don’t revere the guy that had an easy coast up to the top and
had things just handed to him- that’s hardly how it goes in the world anyway. At least for most of us. The truth is that
greatness costs, it costs a lot. The best people in my own life are great
because they went through truly heavy ordeals in life, but ultimately became so
much more than what they were before. I’m
not going to advocate hardship in the sense of saying it’s totally a good
thing, it can be very painful. What I will say is that it’s necessary and
inevitable. We need it. We need it because as archaic as it sounds, when facing those
bitter moments we do find our truest selves. And this self can either crumble or carry on, grow, and become.
Existence itself is dependent upon
chaos, the raging fire that destroys and yet builds. Think of nature, how her
persistent seasons batter the natural realm with enduring resolve. Animals rise
and fall, fruitful summer yields to winter’s barren pull. Change is measured by
the movement from one state to another, growth is measured from lack or decay
becoming whole again and fruitful. Think about it. We would never know a
plentiful harvest without experiencing the long winter or failing season. Our
hard times make us appreciate the good ones- but more, they make us more
capable of attaining the growth we need to actively create our own good
fortune. Struggles in life teach lessons we would never know without
experiencing failure or betrayal, in kind such experiences fortify us for
future disappointments. Like the seasons, good times and bad occur in varying
periods. The Anglo-Saxon bard, Deor, once wrote: “He sits sorrowful and
anxious,/ bereft of joy/ darkening in his mind/ he thinks to himself/ that it
is endless/ that his part of
troubles;/ then he can consider/ that throughout this world/ the wise Lord/
always goes,/ to many men/ he shows honour,/ sure glory,/ to some a share of
troubles.” Hardship, while seemingly
endless is but a state of being, as are times of prosper. Hard times don’t last
forever, as Deor’s refrain illustrates: “Thaes ofereode,/ thisses swa maeg”- “That
was overcome,/ so may this be.” And also, Deor reminds that struggle is felt by
everyone, we all have our due of happiness and despair.
So the question: When we’re waist
deep in the trenches and troubles are pounding us deeper into the cold earth,
how do we get through it? There’s no easy answer. You just get through it. You
get battered, you learn from your mistakes, you feel failure and hurt, and that
can’t be helped- the only power you retain is your own personhood. As it
happens though, it is attitude that drives people to greatness. The way you carry
yourself is what will ultimately carry you through even the direst periods. Attitude
can lead you down or up- and I know- when you’re down it always feels like you
can only go down, but we all know that everything does pass. Defeat is only
momentary- if you let it be. The challenging thing I’ve discovered is not
giving into a defeatist attitude while treading the rocky red road. It’s very
easy to fall into feelings of despair, feelings that the world has an agenda
against you; that you won’t prevail. These are negative feelings that dwell on
what has happened in the past already
and negative ideas of what could happen
(if the bad times continue). Part of this just comes with the roughness, but if
you allow yourself to adopt the idea that you will not make it, you won’t. Everything begins with simple words of
thought. If you write your own demise on the wall in front of you, you will
have lost the war without raising your sword. You will have not even attempted
to climb the battlements. Dwelling on current bad circumstances can divert you
from ways to remedy them. In kind such thinking distracts you from things that
are good in life, and that could potentially lead to happiness. Don’t gloom.
When I’m in a bad place I just
believe in my head that things will be okay because
I will make them okay. It sure as Hell doesn’t mean I’m whistling zippity-do-dah
every minute of every day, but I try to steel myself to focus on resolving the
issues and generally accept that I have life, which is great, and that I as the architect of my path will find
a way to fulfillment. I’ve struggled my whole life (as have many), and I can
honestly say that I would not be the same person I am had I not endured them. I
would not be as strong. It’s the same for us all through our own unique
experiences. Ernest Hemmingway profoundly wrote: “The world breaks every one
and afterward many are strong at the broken places.” (Hemingway, A Farwell
to Arms) If there’s one indomitable truth in the world, it’s that the view
on top of a mountain is one of the greatest most beautiful sights to behold. Yet it is an even greater vision after seeing
only fragments of the horizon, rock, and dirt. When at the pinnacle under Heaven’s
gate, you see that all of it, all of that climb was part of something much
grander that culminated into the act of you reaching the top of the world and
looking down. Just believe that you will be better after all of it. Just
think how much stronger you will be and feel with the simple knowledge: I got
through it.
Not everyone will reach that exact objective,
and that’s alright. Life is about the journey itself, the journey is the
worthier part (Yes, I am referencing Firefly,
a truly profound line). What we take with us in the end, in the truest sense,
is how we have lived and who we have encountered along the way (what they meant
to us, and vice versa). If we can at least be around good people, and live in a
way we are proud of- is that not a great accomplishment? But again I say,
nothing is beyond a person’s grasp, only what they limit with their own mind. When
unlimited in the mind, individuals have won long shot victories and walked
places once deemed impossible. The will, attitude, these are the initial causes
of great things. Remember that every action was first conceived in the human
mind, brought to action by the strength of character to make it so.
I didn’t intend to write about
struggle, or how to overcome it. I won’t be arrogant in saying that I have the
solutions for individual problems, or that everything will be okay. I will say
that, YOU, can make things alright. I will say that you have the power. And I
would urge everyone to take a moment and really think about what I said earlier
in that life is a mysterious and windy road. There can be real beauty in that
mystery. What’s cool about life (and something uplifting) is that every day can
be different; you can learn something different each time you wake up. I wrote earlier that defeat is only momentary
if you let it be- I also think that with every day of life there is the
potential for adventure.
Two weeks ago I was in a rut. It was Wednesday.
I woke up late and reluctantly dressed for my morning run and lift. I was
finishing the first loop of my boring route when I saw something totally
unexpected. Horses. Yes, horses in my small Baltimore neighborhood. They were
there as part of a summer camp, to teach the local kids the art of horsemanship
and also provide simple pony rides. I met their handlers, Mr. Derik and Q, two
very good men. I approached and asked if
I could get closer to the horses. I had ridden before in northern Georgia, but I’ve
never been an equestrian. This didn’t stop me from volunteering to help them
out. With genuine warmth in their eyes they welcomed my help. I brushed the
horses down, and then later learned how to saddle and bridle them. I ended up
leading several of the horses around for the kids to mount and ride. This has
been one of the most rewarding experiences living Baltimore. I got the chance
learn skills many modern everyday people don’t have the opportunity to
experience- or just don’t care about. I got to be around these amazing,
powerful animals. The spirit of a horse emanates in a way that you are just
taken back at first in their presence. I also had the opportunity to help share
these animals with others- the kids loved them, and I loved that. I loved being
part of the effort that made so many happy in their lives. It was in serving
others, I felt the bonds of my own troubles fade away- this was the experience
that really freed my mind of the burdens I’ve been facing, and inspired me to
write this post.
Helping others, volunteering, gave me a real
sense of happiness and purpose in my life. It’s something I strive to do
through writing as well. I’m not going to be the obnoxious goody-goody and
guilt you into signing up for a million charities to consume your life- not at
all. A simple act of kindness can be done anywhere, anytime. I praise
individuals who give themselves to formal periodical charity, but that might
not be for everyone. My philosophy is that if I am able, I serve- but most
importantly: serve with my whole heart, with conviction. Serve in something you enjoy.
Not only did I get to work with very
good people who honored me with their time and teaching- I also got to do some
free riding! Now let’s step back and look at how random that was. Its nuts
right? Totally out of the blue. This all happened because I did the simple act
of indulging a moment of curiosity and extending a hand. Life throws you down a
hole sometimes, but you always have the ability to climb up. And when you do,
there is a broader road to venture out to. Explore. Live. Live with the
confidence that you have the power to attain your goals, and you will. Explore
your world and you will find treasures at every turn. Live in the moment that is ever changing, as
you are, and your burdens will be merely in the past.
